GODZILLA-THON #4 - Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964)

No, unfortunately this film does not pit Godzilla against the malevolent shape-shifting alien beast that headlined John Carpenter's 1982 film. Rather, this was the first example of Toho digging through their monster roster and picking a worth opponent for Big G to rumble with in Japan. After the incredible success of pitting him against King Kong, Toho quickly went to work on penning a sequel. Intended to be given the lazy title of Continuation: King Kong vs. Godzilla, the project never made it past the early planning stages. Oddly enough, a super-sized version of Frankenstein's monster was once again submitted as a possible foe for Godzilla until Toho rejected that script (a script I'd love to read) and decided on Mothra, who had just headlined her own eponymous film in 1961. This is often considered to be one of the best films in the series period, as well as featuring one of the best Godzilla suits. I agree on both counts.

It's true, there is "nothing like [that] ever on the screen" because nothing in the movie has tentacles.

So, what's up with the vague, ambiguous title of Godzilla vs. The Thing? That title was only used for the American theatrical release, though, as all of the home video versions I can recall went by Godzilla vs. Mothra. To make it even more (slightly) confusing, the Japanese title is Mothra vs. Godzilla. I'm not exactly sure why Toho started putting their leading monster in the secondary title position. Godzilla doesn't even enjoy top billing until 1966's bout with Ebirah. I'm not complaining about this; it just seems a bit odd. But it could also be that the Japanese aren't as particular about this kind of thing like American film marketing. I've watched the Japanese version on Classic Media's outstanding DVD before, but having grown up on the English-dubbed version it's nearly impossible not to long for that version and that one only. The funny thing (no pun intended, really) is that I'd only ever seen it as Godzilla vs. Mothra, but this AIP print comes with the vs. The Thing title.

Amazingly, the American version hardly messes with the Japanese cut much. Usually, the American distributors will consider entire re-shoots around SPFX footage, or at the very least they'll trim the film down to the bare essentials to maximize monster time. Here, they not only leave the film almost totally intact, but they actually added a new scene of Godzilla being showered with missiles. The Frontier Missile sequence, featuring the American military taking control of the war against Godzilla, is full of great man-in-suit footage. Just as it sounds, it basically Godzilla stomping around while the military tries in vain to take him out. Of course, we know he ends up demolishing everything in his way because that's kinda his thing, but the fact that the U.S. got additional footage that the Japanese market didn't is pretty huge. This version was also released a scant 4 months after its Japanese debut, whereas all previous films had taken at least a year (or more) to be readied for stateside consumption.

The film's plotting doesn't deviate too far from the now-standard Godzilla formula. As per usual, G wakes up from hibernation - here he's buried underground and appears from beneath a quaking plot of land - and he just starts stomping Japan into the ground. Unlike in previous films, here he doesn't have any commute since his sleeping quarters were conveniently located in a coastal city. Just before Godzilla wakes, though, a giant egg had washed up on the beach. A massive egg capable of providing omelets for half the population. But this egg contains some special larva, the offspring of Mothra. You  know Mothra - giant moth, worshiped by native islanders and adored by two diminutive princesses who have a penchant for singing her praises constantly. My dad heard that song so many times when I was a kid that he can still sing it (albeit mockingly) to this day. Some businessmen try to buy the egg and set up an amusement park around it, completely ignoring the fact that it's an egg, which means it will either hatch something or rot away in the sun. Either way, not exactly a sound business model for generating revenue. It also doesn't help that one of the main dudes in charge looks like Hitler's long-lost Japanese brother.

With Godzilla on the move, and the fate of Mothra's egg in question, our fearless heroes/heroine - this time around it's a couple of journalists - call upon the tiny twins, known as Shobijin, to get Mothra to the mainland. Only problem is, Mothra has seen better days. She's an active senior looking forward to a few golden years before packing up her cocoon and jettisoning off the Moth Heaven. It's not meant to be, however, and soon Mothra is headed to Japan for a one-on-one showdown with Godzilla. And the Big G, being rightly pissed off for no apparent reason, promptly smacks her ass down. Oh noes! There goes any hope for saving Japan... unless a lot of tribal song and dance can get Mothra's egg to hatch! Of course, it does and out pop twins. I always liked Mothra's larva when I was younger. They seemed like such unlikely adversaries for Godzilla, but managed to hold their own impressively well considering they were literally just born and have virtually no defenses outside of tail biting and shooting silly string-like webbing from their mouths. 

A monster's humiliation, immortalized in plastic for all to see.

One area in which the film gets consistent props is for the suit design. This one, intended to be different from the Kingoji suit used against King Kong, was dubbed (appropriately enough) the Mosugoji. Godzilla's was given a less reptilian appearance, in addition to enjoying less bulk (battling a big ape must be a killer workout), a smaller snout, and an overall visage that is more menacing and "evil" versus the "big dinosaur" look he got last time around. Out of all the suits Godzilla films employed during the Showa era, I would have to agree that this one is among the best. Slight modifications were made for the next two subsequent films, after which Godzilla got some revamps that - quite honestly - made him look like a giant Sesame Street character. 

To end on a somewhat amusing anecdote, growing up in Southern California my father always used to point out the massive hangar which houses the Spruce Goose because it resembles Mothra's egg from far away. We lived about 50-ish miles from Long Beach, and on a clear day it looked just like that giant egg was sitting by the shore, waiting to hatch. All these years later I still think that every time I see it while driving. 

Only God Forgives (2013)

I just got through watching Only God Forgives, director Nicolas Winding Refn's hotly anticipated follow-up to Drive, which happened to be my favorite film of 2011. And my brain is swirling in a neon-drenched pool of deep thoughts. Drive 2, this sure as fuck was not. That may be why so many critics and filmgoers alike have been bashing the film. It reportedly was met with a chorus of boos when it debuted at Cannes, although I also hear it got a standing ovation at the same time so that proves nothing. Then, when I went to rent it on VUDU tonight I see that it only has 1 1/2 stars. I don't let this kind of negativity dissuade me because every film is a subjective experience. I'm sure Refn's earlier film Valhalla Rising would have been universally skewered had it followed up Drive. Coincidentally enough, some reviews have compared Valhalla to Only God Forgives due to a deliberate pacing coupled with a lack of on-screen dialogue.

It's true. Ryan Gosling only has 22 lines in the film, but his words aren't important here. Not so much as his actions, at least. There's a ton of symbolism at play here, more than I could have ever hoped to catch the first time around. The film's plot sees Gosling, at the behest of his domineering, belittling mother, seeking revenge against a Thai cop, Chang (also known as the Angel of Vengeance), who is responsible for his brother's death. He doesn't seem eager to carry out this act of retribution, though, because his brother died at the hands of the man whose daughter he raped and killed. Not exactly grounds for a sympathy revenge kill. But Gosling's mom, played here by a particularly venomous Kristin Scott Thomas, is a stone-cold woman who uses her sons as instruments for her drug empire. Gosling's character, Julian, has got some real deep-seeded mommy issues. This is Oedipus complex to the max, with plenty of Freudian symbolism here to keep psychology buffs busy.

Refn places the onus more on the film's mis-en-scene than he does the actual writing of the scenes. So many of the shots look like stylized neon paintings come to life. This is where the film likely lost many viewers - people are often turned off when they face a challenge at the movies. I'm not saying this is true of all filmgoers, but the vast majority of Joe Six Packs couldn't hope to get through this and not proclaim it a piece of shit once the credits began rolling. This is cerebral cinema, though it could be easily dismissed as pretentious garbage by those who refuse to seek deeper meaning in the films they watch. Refn is not one to shoot something because it looks pretty (but it does); there's always something else bubbling just beneath the surface. As evidenced with Valhalla Rising, he can make a nearly-silent film compelling through the use of symbolism, quality acting, and imagery. Only God Forgives is steeped in allegory, perhaps moreso than any of his films yet.

While this is ostensibly a vehicle for Ryan Gosling, the real star of the show is Chang, played here by Vithaya Pansringarm, who also does all of his own singing. The dude is a real double threat. Chang seems to represent "God" in the film; all of his actions are the work of a man who judges men before meting out their just punishment. Then, afterwards, he loves to sing karaoke. Gosling and his family are "dirty". They run a drug ring in Chang's town. Julian's brother, Billy, beats and rapes a 16-year-old girl at the beginning. His mother is a manipulative whore who runs the drug ring with her sons. Hell, even Julian, despite being an outsider within his own family, has dirty hands. The only difference being that Julian wants his hands to be clean, but he's powerless as long as his mother is in the picture. Enter Chang. It would truly take an academic paper to dissect every nuance here and explain its meaning, but suffice it to say that Chang is God here, and as the film's title suggests, he is the only one who can absolve Julian of his crimes. Really, there's some powerful stuff going on in this picture.

Just as in Drive, the film's other star is unseen - that would be composer Cliff Martinez, who has managed to possibly top his work on that previous film. Similar to his work on Drive the score here is hypnotic, lulling viewers into a state of complacency that often winds up being shattered by a burst of on-screen ultra-violence. I've been listening to it intermittently for the better part of two weeks now and it's certainly one of the best film scores this year. In particular, his cue during Chang & Julian's big fight is a gothic synth nightmare that elevates the scene tremendously. Also highlighting the score: Chang's karaoke! Now, I don't have a clue what he's saying because I don't speak Thai, but there's something charming about his voice. He has a good singing cadence. Really, though, this is one of the best soundtracks of the year. Ominous, foreboding, electric.... Martinez is quickly becoming one of my favorite composers.

Only God Forgives is a challenging film. If you enjoy that sort of thing, then it comes highly recommended. Sometimes I think that people will dismiss a smart film as boring crap for no other reason than they couldn't understand it. These are the same people who would just as easily dismiss a true classic of cinema like David Lynch's  Mulholland Dr., a film that I consider to be one of the all-time greats. Initial viewings of this film are probably going to leave even the most ardent cinephiles scratching their head. Give it time. Let the film soak in. Consider the deeper meaning behind it all. The words and images you see on screen hold the key to unlocking its true nature. Subsequent viewings will yield these rewards. Movies are not all made to be equal, with some requiring much more effort on the part of the audience than simply showing up. Only God Forgives may seem like a shallow pool of neon sludge, however, that is just the surface layer. We can always go deeper.

ETA: Re-watched this for a second time because I had it on the mind all night. Yep, definitely my favorite film of the year. Everything works for me, on every level. Understanding what the film is going for, and what to look for, makes it such a clearer picture. And, man, that fucking score!

GODZILLA-THON #3 - King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

When we last saw our favorite grey-skinned (he's not green, people!) monster, he was en route to becoming a Godzilla popsicle after a lengthy, drawn-out mountainous bombing covered him in ice, which is where he remained for 7 years until Toho decided to revive him for a match against the ultra popular American monster, King Kong. Oddly enough, the Big G wasn't Kong's originally intended adversary. It was going to be... Frankenstein's monster? Yep. The film started out as an idea by stop-motion pioneer Willis O'Brien - the man responsible for bringing Kong to life in his 1933 debut - who wanted to pit Kong against a giant-sized Frankenstein's monster. RKO, the company that owned the character, was all for it... except for the fact that they were no longer a production company. So, one of O'Brien's business buddies decided to do him a solid and shop it overseas, eventually earning the interest of Toho who saw it as a potential vehicle for Godzilla. Unfortunately for O'Brien, his "buddy" cut him out of the deal and took the project to Japan on his own. Although he gets no credit, the only reason this film exists is because of his original concept.

This was one of my favorite movies as a kid, no question. Pitting my two most favorite monsters against each other was genius to my 6-year-old brain. Who cares if the scale on Kong is ridiculously off. He's what, 25, maybe 30 feet tall max? And here he's sprouted to over 100 feet because... he eats red berries on Farrow Island? Yep. There are red berries - which look an awful lot like lychee fruit dyed red - on a remote island in the South Pacific. Kong eats these berries, the juice has made him huge. There is also a large octopus on the island, almost as big as Kong, and it too enjoys drinking the juice from these berries. There are natives on this island as well. They eat these berries. They are normal-sized humans. The things you don't think about when you're young, right? I guess the berry juice magic only works on animals.

With few exceptions, Godzilla films have never been known for their intricate plotting or strong scripts. This isn't an exception to that rule, but the conceit behind getting these two together works pretty damn well. Godzilla, fresh from his cryo-slumber in an ice casket, is awake and rightfully pissed off. And what does G do when he's mad? Yep, time to smash the crap out of Japan. Japan, understandably, does not want this. They figure the best way to combat a big beast is with an equally large beast, so they ship Kong's furry ass over to Japan in order to have him fight Godzilla. The method by which they get the two together is wholly improbable - giant balloons would not lift a 3000-ton ape. Laughable as it is, he sure knows how to make an entrance.

That's the thing here, too - this is the first Godzilla film aimed towards a broader audience. Special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya wanted to make both monsters more family friendly. Don't forget, Godzilla - and to a lesser degree, Kong - was still considered a villain in 1962. By making both monsters slightly more anthropomorphic they seemed less scary to small children. That's why they do things like playing hot potato with a massive boulder. The Godzilla suit was once again redesigned, this time with no ears, three toes on each foot instead of four, and his dorsal fins were enlarged. Many fans consider this to be one of the best suits the series has seen, a distinction I tend to agree with. He looks like more like a dinosaur, and I was a dino-obsessed kid. The Kong suit is, uh... well, frankly, it looks like shit. Half the time. The suit used for longer shots has a more furrowed brow and recessed eyes, giving it a more "hardened" look. The close-up suit just flat out blows. His teeth look like they're all about to exit his mouth in different directions, the eyes are bugged out making him look like a pug/ape hybrid; it's just a terrible design through and through, which is surprising given that Tsuburaya was such a major fan of Kong's 1933 debut. I'll admit that there is a little bit of charm to the guy ape's mug, however, he is unquestionably the ugliest Kong ever committed to film. Yes, even uglier than female Kong and her big third-world ape titties in King Kong Lives.

"Break these chains... of love!"

As with almost every Godzilla film up to this point, King Kong vs. Godzilla had an American version that cut out many scenes and changed some of the film sequences around. They inserted the character of Eric Carter (played by a good looking son of a bitch named Michael Keith), a U.N. reporter who would call on his colleagues around the world to get updates on Godzilla and Kong's respective paths of destruction. Having seen both versions of the film, I've gotta say that I love the U.S. version. And, yes, that would still be the case if I could get these damn rose-tinted glasses off. For one thing, the concept of using a world reporter at the U.N. gives the film a more global, epic feel. I also have a hard-on for vintage '60s Americana news reports and space exploration videos. All of the footage shot with Carter feels like you're watching an old forgotten broadcast. Much of Akira Ifukube's score was replaced by stock library cues that had been used in older films, this was in an effort to give the music a more "Westernized" feel.

The film does have quite a few distinctions to its name. It was the first time that either Godzilla or King Kong were shot widescreen (the film was done in scope 2.35:1 ratio) and in color. Additionally, the film remains the most-attended Godzilla film of all-time, with over 12 million admissions in Japan. My first experience watching it came from the old Goodtimes VHS, a tape that I still own because I think it's important to retain some Luddite qualities so you can appreciate what once was every now and then. 

Despite the constantly-told apocryphal tale, there are NOT two endings for the film. A popular rumor started by Spacemen magazine in the '60s claimed that if you saw the film in Japan, Godzilla would win; but viewing it in American would yield a victory for Kong. Not so. In both versions Kong is the winner, although, really, it's pretty ambiguous. It's a satisfying ending for fans of both monsters because neither can claim true victory - they both end the film alive and slightly bruised. King Kong was much more popular internationally than Godzilla at this time, so it was always intended for him to win the bout. This film did get Toho to thinking that pitting there was something to this pitting-Godzilla-against-monsters thing, which ultimately led to the series continuing on as he faced a roster of current and new Toho creations.

GODZILLA-THON #2 - Godzilla Raids Again (1955)

Godzilla's second foray into theaters occurred immediately following his debut. Toho, eager as any Western Hollywood studio, wanted to capitalize on the success of Godzilla's popularity, so this sequel went into production for release in 1955. That might sound ambitious for the '50s - long before the '80s heyday of popping out horror sequels quicker than a child gestates - but then I'd be quick to point out that RKO shot and released Son of Kong in the same year (1933) that the original came out! And they had to do stop-motion animation, too! So, getting Haruo Nakajima to hop inside their rubber suit once again and stomp miniatures wasn't such an impossible task. But, this being a sequel and all, the stakes had to be raised. Unfortunately, director Inoshiro Honda declined to return - can't blame the guy for wanting to go out on a high note - and composer Akira Ifukube also was unavailable. In their place, director Motoyoshi Oda (who was up to that point mainly known for a Japanese film influenced by The Invisible Man called Tomei Ningen) took over the reigns, while score composition was handled by then-new composer Masaru Satoh. This was actually the first score he ever recorded for a film. He would later gain recognition for his work with Akira Kurosawa.

Enter Anguirus. Or Angillas. Or Anguilas. Of all the monsters in Toho's roster, Anguirus seems to have the most "AKA"s. Toho says Anguirus, so that's what I call him. This spiky Ankylosaurus-looking beast was introduced initially as Godzilla's foe, though later films would see him often aligning with Godzilla, creating one of the most badass tag teams since Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior decided to join forces.

The film doesn't offer a whole lot in the way of plot, or even characters we feel much for. Certainly not after Gojira offered up a top-notch cast of memorable characters - Serizawa has a friggin' eye patch, who doesn't remember that? The only returning cast member, other than Haruo Nakajima as Godzilla, is Takashi Shimura returning as Prof. Yamane. He's not here to do much more than remind people how much Godzilla fucked up Japan before, and that this is likely the first Godzilla's relative who is now awake and pissed off. Only this time, instead of smashing the crap out of fishing villages and eating virgin sacrifices he's focused on battling Anguirus. Which, I suppose, still means that half of Japan is gonna get annihilated. The two of them do more or less use the harbors of Japan as makeshift wrestling mats. 

As for the human element, it's far less engaging this time around. We spend most of the film with two pilots who are tasked with hunting for schools of fish from the air. They first spot Godzilla and Anguirus already embroiled in a heated battle on some remote island before the monsters both fail to notice the impending cliff and into the drink they go. One of the pilots recognized Godzilla, though, so finally the Japanese can make preparations to ward off the beast. 

Oh, man, they do such a good job, too. Although he was ignored in the first film, the army listens to Prof. Yamane this time and prepare a series of flares designed to lure G away from the coastal cities. After all, like a large, scaly moth the Big Guy is drawn to lights, so a few well-placed flares and he'll be out of here in no t-

Fuck. A group of convicts just engineered the easiest prison truck escape ever, hijacked a gasoline truck (the most logical of vehicles to employ during a high speed chase), and lost complete control of it, slamming into a refinery that just happens to be right by the coast. 

Aaaaaaannnnnddddd now Godzilla is coming back to obliterate everything. So is Anguirus, who apparently can't resist the urge to add some theatricality to his rematch by fighting next to the massive fire. Bad move. Doesn't he know Godzilla breathes fire? He finds out, but only after Godzilla bites through his neck and kicks his dying ass into a drainage ditch. Then Anguirus gets blasted with the famous atomic breath, effectively burning him to death. Don't feel too bad, he gets to make up for losing later in the series by appearing in several pictures.

"C'mon, just one hug..."

The Godzilla suit underwent some minor cosmetic changes for this entry. As everyone should already know, the suit quite literally has been altered in one way or another for every single film in the series. This time around Godzilla has a more dinosaur-like head and his ears seem a bit more pronounced. This is the closest the suit has ever looked to the original, as the next film - King Kong vs. Godzilla - saw a major makeover for the Big Guy. Once again, Haruo Nakajima donned the rubber casket, though modifications had been made to ensure a modicum of comfort over the previous design.  

So, how do they off Godzilla this time? You can't kill him again - not because they couldn't write a way to kill him, but think about the sequel potential! They had to just put him on ice, literally. Our two ace pilots - Tsukioka and Kobayashi - spend almost 15 minutes bombing him on an icy island with the intent of covering him with enough ice so that he can't escape. This is not taking into consideration the fact that he's a massive, powerful lizard that can likely just stomp his way out. And, you know, he does breathe fire! But, sure, whatever. Gotta wrap the film up somehow, right? Anyway, these two guys drop more bombs than a WWII fighter pilot before this terrible ice plan finally works, rendering our titular monster a kaiju-sicle.

"I'll, uh, just be polite and stand here while you guys do your thing."

And that's how he stayed for 7 long years, until another monster King by the name of Kong came knocking at his door.

One quick note on the American version of Godzilla Raids Again... The original intention was for an American distributor, AB-PT productions, to film completely new footage around all of the existing monster scenes. This new film, to be titled The Volcano Monsters, would have shrunk the scale of Godzilla and Anguirus to dinosaur size. Additionally, Godzilla was not going to be shown breathing fire, and Toho even sent over monster suits for the production. Thankfully, the production company went out of business the following year, effectively cancelling the entire production. As bad as it sounds, some part of me is morbidly curious to know how this project would have looked fully realized. The film still got messed with to hilarious results, though. The American version re-christened Godzilla as Gigantis - giving the film its name, Gigantis, the Fire Monster - and he was even given Anguirus' roar! Apparently the distributors were stupid enough to think audiences wouldn't notice Godzilla being passed off as an entirely new monster. The only silver lining to this version - and it's minor - is George Takei, he of Star Trek fame, provided dubbing for one of the actors. 

"Watch out, it's Godzilla... and he looks fabulous!"

GODZILLA-THON #1 - Gojira (1954)

Godzilla fever has been running high thanks to Gareth Edwards' upcoming 2014 reboot invading Comic Con this weekend, so it seemed like as good a time as any to re-watch all of Toho's 28 entries in the historic franchise.

For a bit of backstory, I'm essentially the definition of a dyed-in-the-wool Godzilla fan. As far back as I can remember, I've been fascinated with big monster movies, or daikaiju for the initiated. I've got the worn-out VHS tapes to prove it. I would curate my own movie marathons, piling up my store bought (and bootlegged) Big G tapes to ready myself for an entire day of nerding the fuck out. All at the age of 6. Few things made me happier than watching man-in-suit movies until my eyelids gave out and I was carried off to bed. I owned every single film Toho had released up to that point - this would've been around 1987/88 - which explains why my favorite G films come from the earlier Showa era of the series. In fact, aside from Godzilla 1985 I didn't see any Heisei era films until the mid-to-late '90s. This is partly due to Toho doing a shitty job of giving them proper VHS released in America... and partly due to my entering high school and maintaining a social life.

But I digress. The point I'm getting at here is that despite all of my constant Godzilla-thons, I never watched the original film much. I watched it plenty to know it well enough. The black & white presentation never bothered me as a kid. I gravitated towards the more monster-heavy entries in the series, like 1974's Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Plus, let's face it - Toho might've done a commendable job on the suit itself but that puppet used for close-up shots hardly looked menacing. And this was also the American-edited 1956 version, called Godzilla, King of the Monsters, which eschewed virtually all of the somber mood and nuclear subtext of the Japanese version in order to give Perry Mason, er, Raymond Burr screen time as our man on the ground, journalist Steve Martin. Clearly, this was before the time of the Steve Martin, but the name confusion did turn up when the character was reprised for Godzilla 1985. There, they just called him "Steve" or "Mr. Martin", never a combination of the two. It isn't a bad film - especially to the non-critical mind of a kid - but since the original version was lovingly restored around 2004 people seem to deride it more than usual.

Back to the marathon. Criterion put out a sexy new edition of Gojira (1954) on Blu-ray. This edition fully blows the Classic Media Blu-ray release out of the water, with an improved picture (CM's release was 1080i), better audio, and a minor wealth of bonus material. Now, it should be noted that they didn't license any of the features found on the 2-disc DVD Classic Media released, so fans who own that edition would be wise to hang on to it. But if all you're concerned with is the a/v presentation, look no further than Criterion.

The film itself is clearly superior to the heavily-edited American version. As I stated earlier, the tone is much more serious and somber. Godzilla is an obvious allegory for the undersea nuclear testing being done around that time (and even more obviously, the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki). He is presented as a force of nature, an unstoppable beast who only leaves the sea when his food source has been depleted due to deep-sea explosions. As gripping as the monster footage is, the story is compelling and humanistic. Professor Yamane (Takashi Shimura) desperately wants to study the beast, hoping that through science we can learn how Godzilla is impervious to atomic testing and conventional weaponry. But the military just wants to kill it, a task they continually fail at completing. They have to enlist the aid of Dr. Serizawa (Akihiko Hirata), a scientist who has developed a device - the Oxygen Destroyer - that can essentially liquefy oxygen, killing whatever is in its wake. He's reluctant to offer his aid, however, since he knows that as soon as his experiment is revealed men will want to harbor it for nefarious purposes. The pathos bleeds off the screen, elevating what could have easily been a simple monster-runs-amok film into something emotional and poignant.

"Chicks dig the patch, right?"

Much - if not all - of the film's success is thanks to the triumvirate of technical innovation: director Inoshiro Honda, producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, and special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya. Without delving too deeply into history that can be found elsewhere, it was Tanaka's idea to film the movie. The script went through many changes, as did the final design for Godzilla, which at one point was to be a monster with a mushroom cloud-shaped head (!). Finally, on their third attempt to create a useable sculpture, did Tsuburaya & Tanaka settle on the now-classic look. They still needed to put a man in that 200-lb. rubber suit, though. Enter Haruo Nakajima, who wore the bulky behemoth under stage lights with temperatures inside reaching 130 degrees Fahrenheit. He reportedly had a cup of sweat drained from the suit daily. The stiff rubber forced a more reptilian - and, thus, less human - style of movement because Nakajima was so restricted. Rumor has it the suit could stand on its own once he was out! Sounds like grueling work, but he took it all in stride without complaining. Nakajima did almost all of the suit work during the Showa era.

"Godzilla - did the Oxygen Destroyer really kill him... or was it cancer?"

It's been said that a good score can dramatically help any movie, and the impressive orchestration of Akira Ifukube certainly does just that. This is the man who composed a large majority of Godzilla's most memorable themes. This score reciprocates the somber tone meant for the film, making it unique among his work on other Godzilla films since the mood never reached the emotional depths of this first picture. Ifukube would go on to score for Godzilla the rest of his career, finally stepping down after handling duties on Godzilla vs. Destroyer in 1995. Let's not forget he also gave the Big G his trademark roar, something achieved by rubbing a resin-coated glove over a contrabass string. Simple, effective, incredibly memorable.  

I liken this inaugural Godzilla film to Rocky (1976) - hang on a sec, lemme finish - in that this was the launch pad used to gauge reaction and then plot ahead. Everyone seems to forget that Rocky loses in the first film, much like the Big G loses (even worse, really... he dies) here. But as Prof. Yamane said in the film, perhaps there are more of Godzilla's species out there, waiting to be woken up from continued testing.

Lucky for us, he was right.

Observe & Report (2009)

Here's another oldie. I think this is one of the most underrated comedies of the decade, so hopefully someone stumbles upon this and decides to check it out...

I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering why Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom, decided audiences needed to see two mall cop films released within 3 months of each other. And the reason you’re wondering this is because Warner Brothers decided to market Jody Hill’s subversive, black comedy, Observe & Report, as a comedy. Ostensibly I suppose it is, but the film has such a deep, dark black heart that you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone that thought this movie was even in the same ballpark as Paul Blart: Mall Cop, this year’s other mall cop film. This film is more along the lines of Travis Bickle: Mall Cop (fuck you Variety magazine, I thought of it first). Anyone who goes into this film expecting the typical Seth Rogen feel-good stoner flick will get quite a surprise when they learn just how disturbed an individual he’s playing here. As a huge fan of black comedies I spent a great deal of the film laughing, though much of it was due to how exceedingly fucked up the characters who populate this film really are.

 

Rogen stars as Ronald “Ronnie” Barnhardt, head of mall security and leader to a squad of halfwits headed up by his right-hand man, Dennis (Michael Pena). When a pervert in a trench coat starts flashing women in the mall parking lot, Ronnie takes things a little too seriously and his rapid descent into a completely psychotic state of mind begins. Not only is he desperate to solve the case on his own, without the aid of the police, led by Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta, finally in something worth watching again!), but he’s also trying to protect the object of his affection, Brandi (Anna Faris), a make-up counter employee who was the latest victim of the flasher. Ronnie, thinking he’s more in control of the situation than he knows, decides to stop taking his medication… and thus begins his mind’s warp-speed descent into total madness.

 

People need to understand that this is not a typical Seth Rogen film. Everyone knows him as this cuddly, slightly-overweight stoner with great improvisational skills and a husky voice. Here, he’s much more subtle in his approach. This is a dark character with some serious emotional problems. You know those guys in high school who always tried to act hard, like they had some deep-rooted issues with authority? The same guys who would probably fantasize about being police officers just so that they could call the shots and fuck with people? Well, Ronnie is that kind of guy… only in addition to all of his obvious social deficiencies he also happens to be bi-polar.. The man has no filter, and he won’t hesitate to do whatever he thinks is necessary to keep his mall safe, regardless of who gets hurt. As I said before, he’s very much like Robert DeNiro’s Travis Bickle character from Taxi Driver. Just watch the scene where Ronnie goes to police headquarters to apply for a position; it’s heavily influenced by the scene in Taxi Driver where Travis talks to the CIA agent about recruitment. Rogen isn’t as loud and brash as usual, though he does swear and yell a lot, rather he spends most of the film delivering lines in a cool demeanor reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter or Henry Lee Lucas. I really enjoyed seeing Rogen break free of his typical persona, and this is one of his best roles, in my opinion. 

 

Credit for Rogen’s dark turn can’t entirely go to the man himself, however, as that distinction falls squarely on the shoulders of Jody Hill. You’re probably not very familiar with Hill’s work, but he’s quickly making a name for himself as a director specializing in putting his characters, and his audience, in extremely uncomfortable positions and forcing us to watch people break down in unsettling ways. I still haven’t seen his debut film, Foot Fist Way, but it’s high on my list. His most recent project, HBO’s Eastbound & Down, one of the most vulgar shows on television right now, is fucking hilarious. There are only 6 episodes and each one is 22 minutes of solid gold. Hill directs the film with a 70’s attitude, an era which typically depicted films about man versus the machine of society. Unlike Judd Apatow, who probably would have turned this into a 2+ hour slapstick comedy, Hill makes this film tight as a drum.. Running a scant 86 minutes, there’s just enough time to assault an audience’s sense before allowing them to leave the theater feeling like they’ve been violated in some horrific fashion. Again, as a huge fan of black comedy I eagerly anticipate seeing where Hill’s career goes. I’m reminded of filmmakers like Todd Solondz, he of Welcome to the Dollhouse and Happiness fame, and I hope Hill takes off on a similar trajectory.

 

There are some, uh… interesting supporting characters populating this film. The main focus is on Ronnie, so most are left to fill in comedic gaps, but the standout here is easily Michael Pena as Dennis, Ronnie’s deputy. The film introduces him as someone who admires Ronnie and always has his back, regardless of how wrong he may be. It’s only when Ronnie is at his lowest point that Dennis decides it’s time to cheer him up the only way he knows how: drugs, and lots of them. After that, Dennis is a fucking wild man. Anna Faris is a funny chick, mostly. Her lips are so collagen filled they look like she gave oral to a tailpipe and they blistered up, but I digress, she’s perfect as Ronnie’s object of desire (and later, anger). Their “date” is troublesome for many reasons. Ray Liotta! In something that wasn’t shot in Romania or shipped DTV! He looks good and he kicks major ass. ‘Nuff said there. Of course, this being a Jody Hill film, Danny McBride shows up to chew some scenery. It’s not his funniest role, but I’ll be damned if the guy doesn’t steal every scene in every movie he’s in. I can’t wait for Season 2 of Eastbound & Down.

 

This isn’t a film for everyone, that’s for sure. I saw a group of about 8 people leave halfway through, probably because the film isn’t what they were expecting. This is a companion film to Paul Blart: Mall Cop only in the sense that it features a mall cop, not that I really know because I haven’t seen Paul Blart, but you get where I’m going with this. If you’re into subversive comedies with dark sensibilities, this should be right up your alley. It’s vulgar, crude, offensive and, yet, somewhere beneath all of that cynical sentiment there’s a little bit of heart. See it with someone you love, if only to remind them that at least you’re not as fucked up as this guy. 

Cohen & Tate (1989)

Discovery is such a grand thing. As a fan of cinema, there are few emotions more enticing – or exciting – as coming across some rarely-seen gem from a bygone era of filmmaking. Those feelings can sometimes be compounded to a degree when you learn that a favorite writer or director was responsible for producing this work. Such was the case with “Cohen & Tate” (1989), written and directed by Eric Red, who is responsible for two cult classics in the horror genre – “The Hitcher” (1986) and “Near Dark” (1987). Red more or less vanished from film right around 1996 – after writing and directing the little-seen werewolf picture “Bad Moon” – and only recently resurfaced to write and direct a film called “100 Feet” (2008). But that work he did on those two horror films was enough to insure his name would be remembered by genre fans. So, what’s he doing writing a mob movie? Truthfully, although the film could ostensibly be called a “mob movie”, it’s more akin to some of the cat-and-mouse activity found in “The Hitcher”. Personally, despite a knowledge of Red and just about all of the films he’d written or directed I had never even heard so much as a whisper about “Cohen & Tate”. Luckily for fans, Shout! has resurrected the film on Blu-ray, and while it may not be a forgotten classic it certainly is a cut well above average.

An opening scroll informs viewers that young Travis Knight (Harley Cross) is under the Federal Witness Protection Program after witnessing a mob killing in Texas. He and his family attempts to go about their lives as FBI agents watch over them, but when one of the agents turns informant and alerts the mob to where they’re hiding Cohen (Roy Scheider) and Tate (Adam Baldwin) are sent in to kill everyone and kidnap Travis. The only hope he has is the fact that these two hit men – Cohen, an aging enforcer with a steely, cool demeanor; and Tate, a hot head who shoots first and doesn’t bother with questions – hate each other. Travis employs every trick he can to turn them against each other in the hope that they’ll wind up killing themselves and he can escape.

Truthfully, the plot here is very simple. The script, which was loosely adapted from O. Henry’s 1910 short story “The Ransom of Red Chief”, covers less than a day in real time. Cohen & Tate have a 4-5 hour drive back to Houston, where the mob heads want to have a “meeting” with Travis. In that scant amount of time, Red skillfully defines all characters very clearly in order to set up the rivalry between the three. We know that Travis is desperate, and despite knowing his parents have been killed he must become extremely resourceful in order to survive. Tate is an absolute, a hulking brute with a crude sense of humor and an itchy trigger finger. But Cohen, he’s the wild card. There are glimpses behind his demeanor, those few moments when you expect him to turn into a geriatric protector and shrug off this life of crime. He knows how his life in this business will end. But Cohen never takes the easy bait, leaving the audience guessing as to whether or not he actually cares about helping the kid or if he really just wants to kill Tate because he can’t stand him.

Eric Red said he wrote the role of Cohen for Scheider because he had a tendency to play there rogue samurai-type characters that lived by a certain code. A look at Scheider’s filmography confirms that this role fits in with his oeuvre. Roy as Cohen is cold and calculating, using one bullet to kill whereas Tate would have used a set of brass knuckles and a four shotgun blasts. But he never plays the elderly hitman looking to do some good in his life before he gets out. He only sides with Travis’ hatred of Tate because he also hates Tate. Even if he were to kill Tate, he’d still deliver Travis to the mob waiting to snuff him out just as quickly. It all plays out like a deranged buddy-cop flick, except these two only have one shared moment of levity thanks to a bad joke; the rest of their relationship working together is all condescension and bad vibes.

Adam Baldwin made this film almost immediately after “Full Metal Jacket” (1987), and it can be easy to draw parallels to Tate from his character, Animal Mother, in Kubrick’s picture. Both are driven by an unquenchable thirst to kill, with little regard for human life. It’s just a game to them. Red gives Tate one minor moment when he breaks down, revealing a fractured side to his impenetrable brutality. Unlike Cohen, however, there is never one iota of sympathy felt for Tate. He’s a danger to everyone in the film, his reluctant partner included. Many of the standoffs between Cohen, Tate, and Travis have a Sergio Leone quality to them. Eric Red has stated that he was influenced by “The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly” (1968), and with so much tension and ocular close-ups those influences are clearly evident.

Harley Cross manages to impress as nine-year-old Travis Knight. It’s tough placing such an onus on a child actor. Viewers tend to forget that child actors, especially in a film like “Cohen & Tate” which takes place almost exclusively at night, have to work long, grueling hours in less-than-favorable conditions. Maintaining composure and keeping up energy after long takes when you’re so young can sometimes cause a performance to suffer. Not here. Cross convincingly plays Travis with a sharp wit, a savvy youngster who understands the stakes and slyly pits these two mismatched partners against each other. He’s not the most believable at crying, but he does know how to think quickly on his feet as the situation dictates.

“Cohen & Tate” was heavily cut for its theatrical release, losing out on a great deal of brutal bloodshed. Most of the cut gore would have been found during the opening massacre at the farm house, and then later on during the climax. In fact, the neutered climax as seen in the film looks abnormally tame when compared to the uncut footage, which thankfully has been included here as an extra feature. I think this is a film that is deserving of a greater audience – even more so since it was barely seen during its limited theatrical release – and Shout! Factory’s Blu-ray is the perfect way to get it out there.

Friday The 13th (2009)

This is something I wrote back in '09, but I've always liked this review so I'm re-posting it for the F13th fans who might care...

Before I even delve into this review I need to preface it by making one thing perfectly clear: I have a tremendous bias at play here. The Friday the 13th series was my Star Wars when I was growing up. I watched The Final Chapter on a seemingly endless loop. I used to sneak late night viewings of the series on USA long after my parents had tucked me into bed. I bought every single VHS tape and wore them out from continuous play (except for A New Beginning, I always hated fake Jason). I went into this remake with a mix of excitement and trepidation. On the one hand, I was happy to see all the love Jason has been getting lately. There is something awesome about seeing Jason pop up all over the place again – on subway posters, billboards, websites, magazine covers… it’s so refreshing to see my childhood icon being re-introduced to a new generation that missed the original series. Then again, on the other hand, I was worried Jason would be dropped into a 21st century flick that couldn’t do his legacy justice. This is, after all, Platinum Dunes, Michael Bay ’s production company, at the helm. Marcus Nispel, he of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake fame, would be directing. I was concerned since the Chainsaw remake failed to hold up after successive viewings, and I couldn’t stomach seeing the same fate for Friday the 13th. As luck would have it, it didn’t turn out quite as bad as it could have, although it also wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be.


Do I really even need to provide any kind of plot synopsis for a Friday film? Attractive 20-somethings head out to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of sex, drugs and unexpected death. That’s really the long and short of it. The only addition to that most tried-and-true of plots is that there’s a guy (Jared Padalecki) who’s also headed out to Camp Crystal Lake to look for his missing sister, one of the film’s female leads (Amanda Righetti) from the fantastic pre-title sequence.


While it’s true that all the right elements of a Friday film are here, this certainly isn’t the series I grew up on. First and foremost, let’s discuss just how Jason has evolved over the last 30 years. For those not in the know, and there are surprisingly many of you, Jason isn’t really in the original Friday the 13th. Aside from a seat-jumping cameo during that film’s final 12 seconds, he was just there to provide the impetus needed to get Mrs. Voorhees’ blood boiling. The Jason of Parts 2-4 was a lean, forest-dweller who lived in a ramshackle cabin deep in the woods and hunted anyone unfortunate enough to enter the camp grounds. He was a mongoloid, but he had intelligence enough to eke out a meager living in the woods. After he was (seemingly) killed for good in The Final Chapter, A New Beginning resurrected “the legend” of Jason Voorhees and pissed off fans were bummed to find out that the film’s slasher was merely an imposter posing as the real Jason. Jason Lives brought back the real Jason, only now he was an indestructible zombie. Regardless of the liberties they took with him, that film, along with The New Blood, were plenty of fun to watch. Jason Takes Manhattan turned him into a goddamn teleporter. I shit you not. Jason Goes to Hell, aside from about 10 minutes at the beginning and end where we see he’s a fat, mutated demon-thing, doesn’t even have him in the film. Jason X finally took him to the only place he hadn’t gone: outer space. And you know what? It was way more fun than it had any right to be. Then horror’s two leading icons finally got the match-up everyone had been waiting for, the only problem was that Freddy vs. Jason (for the most part) sucked.


Jason in 2009’s remake is a much different beast than we’ve all become accustomed to. It isn’t really made clear whether he survived his apparent drowning as a child, or if he did indeed come back from a watery grave to exact revenge, but the film establishes that he’s been living comfortably by himself in the woods of Crystal Lake for some time. Hell, even the local residents seem to know he’s out there, killing lots of people, but they’d rather just leave him be than call the police (?!?). Also, we get two different flavors of Voorhees in one film. Sackhead Jason hangs around for the first third of the film until he finds his iconic hockey mask and chooses to don it for the remainder of the flick. And despite what the writers have said, there is nothing remotely cool about how he gets the mask. Considering his acquiring the mask in part 3 worked well in relation to the story, the way he does so here just seems way too convenient. Now, here is the area where I have the most issue: Jason is too intelligent in this film. He sets booby traps, has a rigged up lighting and security system, uses wounded victims as bait to lure others and, most confounding, he’s managed to dig a series of tunnels around Crystal Lake. I kept waiting for him to take off his mask to reveal Bob Vila has been behind it all. I can accept that Jason is a skilled marksman with a bow-and-arrow, as we learn in a typically grisly manner, and it’s a series fact he’s good with throwing knives and various weaponry. But the writers here are giving Jason a little too much credit in the brain department. He’s like Lenny from Of Mice and Men, just with a machete. He’s big, he’s dumb and he plays rough.


Another staple of the series that got the short shrift here are the kills. There are a few that are memorable here, but there are a couple others that just seemed extremely lazy. The worst offender of all is when Jason suffocates someone before impaling them on a clothes hook. Suffocation? Really? People have watched the F13th film for years for 3 reasons: the sex, the drugs and the kills. When you’re lacking in originality for a film like this, as a fan, I have to wonder why. Also, despite the filmmakers touting just how grisly this entry is, I was under whelmed by the level of gore on display. I don’t need an ultra bloody film necessarily, but when you’re going all over town talking about how graphic your film is then it should at least live up to that hype. I’ll cut Jason a break on this one, since it’s his first big new outing and all, but I expect them to ratchet up on the kill creativity when the sequel hits.


The cast here is, surprisingly, not nearly as bad as I expected. I didn’t recognize anyone, aside from The Black Waters of Echo’s Pond star Nick Menell, but they all did slightly better than I anticipated. Jared Padalecki plays Clay, the guy searching Crystal Lake for his missing sister. Aside from looking very serious the entire time I thought he did well. Hell, even Trent , the pole-smoking douchebag whose parents own the cabin, was good in his respective role. I think I most enjoyed Arlen Escarpeta as Lawrence, the film’s token (and majorly tokin’) Black Guy. We all know the fate of the Black Guy in a horror film, but Lawrence does better than most and the audience was definitely rooting for him.


I’ll admit that much of my initial hesitation to this remake was due to the choice of writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift. This is the same duo responsible for Freddy vs. Jason, one of the worst entries for both respective series and featuring some of the most poorly written characters and dialogue of any film in either. To say Friday the 13th is a marked improvement would be a fair statement. Some of the dialogue here is actually smart and there is some wit to their lines for once. While I have stated that I don’t like some of the liberties they took with Jason as a character, they still retained some of his trademark qualities and did make some minor improvements to his behavior. I hate to say this is a complaint, but they should have given us some more time to get to know the characters for who they are. Shannon and Swift seemed to be so concerned with reminding us that the series loves sex and drugs that almost every other scene features one or the other. I love a good smoke session or cheesy sex scene on screen as much as any Friday fan, but after a certain point you wonder if these people know how to do anything else.


Other than my concerns over changing Jason, my main gripe is with the music. Harry Manfredini created a legendary score for the series. His work on the first 4 films is a large part of what made them so endlessly re-watchable. The film retained many of its distinctive cues throughout all the entries, so to have someone new come in and completely blow all of that out was unfortunate. Steve Jablonsky, a longtime collaborator on Michael Bay films, comes aboard to provide a pounding jungle beat score that didn’t match the film on display. For one, his work sounds so reminiscent of Tyler Bates (Halloween ’07, 300, The Devil’s Rejects) that until I read his credit I was convinced this was Tyler Bates. I don’t need a bombastic track that makes me think Jason is going to break out glow sticks and starting popping dance moves in the woods at any moment. Jablonsky not only produced a lackluster score, but he also elects to go for cheap scares by tossing in stingers intended to make people jump at red herrings. That, in my opinion, is the lowest form of terror in a theater.


I had no problems with director Marcus Nispel. He wisely chose to use famed cinematographer Daniel Pearl (Texas Chainsaw Massacre ’74 and ’03), so the film looks absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, this is easily the best looking Friday the 13th film ever. The lighting is awesome, the location shots are awesome; everything looks really great. The film’s look will undoubtedly be compared to the Texas Chainsaw remake, since they do look similar, but overall this film maintains a better atmosphere and will no doubt hold up far better than that film does now. I think it’s also important to mention that the film doesn’t rely on that frenzied, quick-cutting style that so many filmmakers are fond of these days. The action is fast-paced, but the shots are broad and simplistic in their framing. You get a good feel for what’s going on without having to risk getting a headache following the carnage.


I think that’s probably more than enough information to form an opinion on whether or not you should see this movie. I want people to see it because I love the smell of Jason in the air, and the more money this one makes the more likely we are to keep getting sequels. I could argue that we have enough Halloween, Nightmare on Elm St. and Texas Chainsaw Massacre films that more don’t need to be made, but Jason obviously has a special place in my demented heart. I need to see the film a few more times to really let it all sink in… Not because it’s some deep Lynch-ian existential thinker, but because I need to see this Jason in action more to determine his rank among the others. Bottom line: this is a cool flick that probably won’t live up to the lofty expectation of hardcore Jason nerds, but as a horror film its far better than most of the detritus we’re treated to each year.

John Dies At The End (2012)

While Don Coscarelli might not enjoy the same widespread name recognition as his other horror brethren, he does have the distinction of never seeing his stock falter much. Since blowing away horror fans with his nightmarish, unconventional genre debut, “Phantasm” (1979), he’s made around a half dozen pictures that have all – to varying degrees – been seen as minor cult classics. Fans can debate endlessly about which of his films is best (that would be “Phantasm”), but most would agree that he hasn’t produced a stone-dead turkey like many other horror luminaries who have inserted a turd or two into their filmography. Perhaps it’s because the man seems to be picky. You aren’t going to find many directors, especially those that have been active since the early ‘70s, with less than a dozen features under their belt. Many fans would no doubt like to see more from the man (still waiting on a fifth Phantasm over here), but sometimes it’s better to have a dearth of titles in your roster as long as they’re all quality versus a wealth of titles with only a handful that are truly worthwhile. Although much of his earlier work was tonally serious, as the years have gone by many of his projects have been injected with a dark sense of humor… and this project may have just hit the apex in that regard.

This brings us to “John Dies At The End” (2012), which might be the only film that was admittedly produced thanks to an Amazon robot. The novel, written by David Wong (a pseudonym for Jason Pargin), showed up on an “Amazon recommends” list that had been sent to Coscarelli after he finished reading some zombie novels. He was interested right away, eventually leading to him optioning the rights and emerging from his directorial hibernation to deliver something new to his rabid fan base. And, even better, he did a pretty damn good job with it to boot.

David Wong (Chase Williamson), an average slacker with little ambition, meets with reporter Arnie Blondestone (Paul Giamatti) to recount his story of a drug called “soy sauce”, which gives him the ability to perceive time and space differently than a normal person. Arnie doesn’t believe him at first, but a quick demonstration of his abilities swiftly changes Arnie’s mind. David got the drug from his friend John (Rob Mayes), who said that he got it from a Jamaican guy at a party. David has a hard time believing the drug can grant such otherworldly powers, until he receives a call from John at the same time John is sitting right in front of him. The two of them soon find themselves in the middle of an inter-dimensional war being started by Korrok, a sentient, organic computer with intentions of conquering our dimension by absorbing knowledge from David and John.

As bizarre as the plot reads above, the film itself delves into such odd territory that it took me two viewings to really get the gist of it all. Things get very weird – women turning into snakes, a monster made out of frozen meats, dog saviors, Dan Roebuck in a baby-faced mask, ghost doors, a girl with one hand – so unless you’re a fan of the novel (which, from what I’ve read, isn’t followed like scripture in the film) chances are a lot of the quirks and perception gags might just float right over your head like a cloud of Shitload (the name for a collective which possesses people). How does Don hold it all together? By employing a really solid cast that is able to imbue each character with a defining personality, that’s how. The vets here are expected to add the necessary gravitas in their supporting roles – Paul Giamatti and Clancy Brown both handle that with ease – so it’s up to our relatively fresh-faced duo of Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes to carry the majority of the film. Having never seen either of them before, they appear to be set for a bright future based on their roles here. Mayes, as John, is the wild man, leaving Williamson to be our entry point into this world of soy sauce as the film’s straight man. The actors slip into their roles so well it makes you wonder if the book had been written with them in mind to play in the eventual adaptation. One can only hope the positive reception for this film leads to the sequel, “This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don’t Touch It”, to be optioned as well.