GODZILLA-THON #9 - Destroy All Monsters (1968)

The dream team is back, baby! After the diminishing returns Godzilla had been facing for the past couple of years, producer Tomoyuki Tanaka decided to bring back director Ishiro Honda and composer Akira Ifukube for what was intended to be the Big G's last hurrah. The big question was, though: if we're going to do one last film, who does Godzilla face? Gary Oldman from The Professional knows - EVERYONE! Toho threw down the gauntlet here, bringing back many fan favorites, many of which hadn't ever been in a film with Godzilla before. Not only was this just about the coolest idea Toho had ever come up with outside of creating Godzilla, but the inclusion of monsters created for other properties gave fans even more incredible work to marvel at watching. Think of it as The Avengers (2012) of monster movies. The plot would once again involve mind control as executed by an evil alien race, this time all women (!), but the real meat here, the real reason why everyone is tuning in, is for that glorious monster action. And, brother, believe me when I say this pull out all the stops to deliver one helluva time!

Don't ever ask how, but in the year 1999, mankind has managed to wrangle all of the planet's monsters into one location - Monster Island (called Monsterland here). Godzilla, Minya, Anguirus, Gorosaurus, Rodan, Mothra, Kumonga, Manda, Varan, and Baragon. All living on an island that looks like it would be small for any one of them, where we're told food is plentiful and they all get along. Sounds like a bullshit PR piece SeaWorld would've put together. But it's working. At least, it is until communications with the island are lost and the monsters escape to begin attacking world capitals. We soon figure out the Kilaaks are the ones behind it, an alien race composed of all females (and they procreate how?) who wear glittery silver spandex hoodies. The have the monsters under the control of a mind-altering signal, one that is emanating from a location on the moon. Hey, we have a base there now! Capt. Yamabe (Akira Kubo) goes up with a team of his best men to stop the aliens by destroying the signal. It works, but the Kilaaks unleash their most powerful weapon as a last-ditch effort: King Ghidorah. The monsters of the Earth must unite to fight their common enemy, all while humanity fights against the alien invasion.

Alien mind control is used a lot in these films. It's a good way to allow Godzilla, our supposed hero by this point, to cause worldwide destruction without actually looking like the bad guy. His mind was under control, after all. And when he does get his head clear, you can always tell he feels really bad about what he did. This was, however, the first entry to have the aliens use a human appearance as their cloaking device, revealing a more hideous, sci-fi origin when their true selves are exposed. In this case, the Kilaaks are extremely sensitive to cold, so when the temperature drops considerably in their environment they revert back to looking like silver slugs that live in rocks. It's funny later on when the military learns of this, and the commander can only help but grin and say something about how friggin' easy an attack this is going to be now.

We know the returning faces - Godzilla, Minya, Anguirus, Rodan, Mothra, Kumonga - so who are the new guys? Gorosaurus was featured in King Kong Escapes (1967), where he fought Kong. Manda was a chief opponent as an undersea dragon in Atragon (1963). Varan appeared in his own film, produced in 1957. And, finally, Baragon was best known as the opponent to the title star in Frankenstein vs. Baragon (1965). Of all these, only Gorosaurus gets an appreciable amount of screen time, teaming up with Godzilla at the climax to help finish off King Ghidorah. Varan gets little more than two shots during the entire film. This was due to the suit being in such a state of disrepair since the filming of that feature over a decade prior. Baragon was being used on the Ultraman TV series (monsters were often redressed for other programs, Godzilla included), so his appearance was extremely limited here. In fact, the script called for Baragon, not Gorosaurus, to destroy Paris. But in typical Toho fashion, even though the monster change had to be made the script change wasn't, leaving Gorosaurus with not only Baragon's ability to burrow underground, but also his roar and in some cases even his name, since the media refers to him in the film as Baragon.

There were to be two more monsters added to the fray - Maguma (from 1962's Gorath) and Ebirah, last seen fighting Godzilla in Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster, but budgetary concerns caused both to be scrapped from the production. Also of note, there was a brief scene filmed where Godzilla fights with Manda, which makes no sense in the context of the film since both are under the same mind control. The footage is said to be shown at conventions from time to time, though it has yet to show up on any official release. 

Despite their being an abundance of kaiju, everyone gets a good amount of screen time with the exception of the two previously mentioned monsters. After the introduction at Monster Island, the film does an adept job of cutting back and forth between human/alien drama and monsters causing a melee across the globe. Some of the sets aren't as distinct as others (Godzilla destroys a seaboard that looks nothing like NYC), but for the most part it looks pretty rad to see Gorosaurus demolish the Arch de Triumph, or to see Rodan flattening Moscow. I can vividly recall seeing the extended trailer for this film on my VHS of Grandpa's Sci-Fi Hits, which was hosted by Al "Grandpa Munster" Lewis. The promise of an international incident as carried out by all my favorite monsters looked astoundingly epic to my young brain. Even now, all these hardened cinematic years later, I can say it's an ambitious entry that really put a lot into the story.

Interestingly, director Gareth Edwards, who is helming the upcoming 2014 reboot Godzilla, has expressed a desire to make a sequel to his film something akin to this film. I really do applaud his ambition, but I hope they set that universe up further with a second film before throwing too many names into the mix. Plus, I don't see that being a successful idea unless Toho grants the rights to use other monsters. Right now, Legendary can only use Godzilla.

A final film is never a final film when a series is successful. Even though producer Tomoyuki Tanaka declared this would be Godzilla's final feature film, the success it enjoyed meant another movie was in the works, this one coming out just a year later. Only to call it a new film is almost disingenuous considering almost all of the fights are culled from stock footage. And that's not even to mention the undeniably child-centric tone and core message about bullying and standing up and... oh, Christ, is there anything good to be said about Godzilla's Revenge? 

GODZILLA-THON #7 - Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (1966)

   Another year, another Godzilla picture back on the big screen. Toho had been steadily churning out Godzilla adventures at a rate of one per year since 1962’s King Kong vs. Godzilla. This time around, though, the series had lost two of its core players. Director Ishiro Honda bowed out, handing directorial duties over to Jun Fukuda, who would go on to helm five films total in the series. Special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya had other commitments that largely kept him off the set for this entry, leaving his duties up to Sadamasa Arikawa. Those changes aren't the major reason why Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (1966) – or Ebirah, Horror of the Deep if you prefer - is viewed as the first (arguably) weaker film in the Showa series. Nope, the reason it's such a quizzical Godzilla film is because he was never supposed to be the star. The script was originally meant for King Kong – and was to be titled Operation Robinson Crusoe: King Kong vs. Ebirah - which would explain the more curious elements present in this picture. The real question here should be why Toho didn’t just order some rewrites so the film at least paid respect to Godzilla's legacy up to that point, though anyone familiar with Toho’s business practices shouldn’t be too surprised. We get all the familiar trappings of a Kong picture - island setting, natives, prehistoric opponents, female objects of affection, lightning rejuvenation. Oddities aside, the greatest strength of Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster isn’t the eponymous star’s presence; it’s the eclectic cast and their perilous journey to find a sibling lost at sea. Their island excursion plays out like Japanese James Bond, complete with a hidden enemy base, alluring native women, espionage, and a big, bold, brassy score. Complaints about Godzilla’s many sequels lacking a strong human element aren’t entirely unfounded, but this is one entry where the human characters are just as engaging as the Big Guy himself.

When Ryota's (Toru Watanabe) brother goes missing off the coast of some remote island hundreds of miles from mainland Japan, he does the sensible thing by breaking into a cat burglar's yacht with his friends, knocking the guy out, and sailing off in hopes of finding his lost sibling. They run aground on Devil’s Island and come across a militant group, Red Bamboo, which has taken over the place. Natives from nearby Infant Island (home of Mothra) are used for slave labor to produce a yellow fluid that keeps Ebirah, a giant sea shrimp (not a crab or lobster), at bay. Naturally, Ryota's brother, Yata Toru Ibuki), is there toiling away, so he and the boys break him loose. Red Bamboo sends a squadron of their troops after the men, who quickly surmise the best way to combat the troops is to wake up Godzilla, who they found nestled peacefully inside a cave. How did he even get in there? They rig up some wires to a sword, wait for a (convenient) lightning storm and soon a jolt of juice wakes the Big G from his slumber. Godzilla, likely with sleep still in his eyes, jumps right into battle with Ebirah, playing a game of volleyball using a massive rock. Maybe he was too tired for anything but stationary action? Eventually he hops into the sea and dukes it out, but Ebirah scuttles away and escapes.

Godzilla then just kind of hangs around, looking bored until he notices Dayo (Kumi Mizuno) and becomes smitten. His newfound love is interrupted when possibly his greatest cinematic foe shows up to tango: a giant condor. A giant condor he makes short work of in about a minute and change. Red Bamboo tries sending in some fighter jets, all of which meet the same fate as big bird. Sensing they’re about to lose their island stronghold, Red Bamboo’s leaders initiate a self-destruct sequence and hit the high seas… before being literally hit by a recharged Ebirah. The supersized shrimp is ready for another go-round with Godzilla, something it quickly regrets when G rips off his claws and kicks his ass down to the depths. Meanwhile, Ryota and the group manage to escape the island thanks to a surprise visit from Mothra, but the island is about to blow and everyone is worried Godzilla won’t get away in time. So, naturally, the men call out to Godzilla and warn him to leave the island. They're warning Godzilla. About an explosion. And he heeds it. Wasn't he, you know, born in fire and all that? Shouldn't matter. Maybe he just wanted to be polite and follow their advice. He is our friend now, after all.

If there’s a weak aspect here, it’s the fact that Godzilla doesn't show up until there are around 33 minutes left in the film. Prior to that, the only time we see him is when the guys stumble upon him sleeping in a tight cave. Luckily, the hour we spend Godzilla-less is a campy, kitschy romp through the jungle with a gang of colorful characters. Fukuda’s direction shows a heavy influence from James Bond films, but it never feels like a poor derivative. It’s fun and full of energy. Fukuda also wisely ties in this film with themes prevalent in the 1954 original, Gojira, by reintroducing talk of nuclear weapons. Red Bamboo uses their island hideaway as a facility for making nukes, and while the commentary on nuclear weapons isn’t heavy-handed it’s nice to have it included as a plot element. Everyone is aware Godzilla’s origin was nuclear, but few films in the series have directly addressed the impact producing those weapons can have on the planet.

The Godzilla suit used here, dubbed NankaiGoji, is reportedly the exact same one used for Invasion of Astro-Monster (1965). I say "reportedly" because the mouth looks like it's hanging open nearly the entire film, as though some damage had occurred to it and no one bothered to fix it. Toho was never much for taking excellent care of these suits anyway. Eventually, the NankaiGoji would be used as the water stunt suit for the next three sequels. If you’ve ever wondered why Godzilla’s look seems to change during the course of a film, it’s because older suits were used when G had to get his feet wet. Toho didn’t want to risk ruining their hero suits. Ebirah doesn’t get much love despite being one of Godzilla’s earliest kaiju adversaries. I guess a giant shrimp isn’t quite as compelling as a three-headed dragon or a huge colorful moth. The fights between Godzilla and Ebirah are more humorous than threatening, especially since there are no cities or civilians to smash and crush, and Fukuda seems to be having fun making a game out of two behemoths clashing. One cool aspect to their battlers is that this is the first film since the original to show Godzilla underwater, and the first to show him fighting down there. Godzilla takes a while to hit the scene, but once he does it’s more or less 30 uninterrupted minutes of mayhem, all of which culminates in a final fight with Ebirah where Godzilla rips off both its claws and taunts Ebirah by snapping them open and closed. Again, right out of Kong’s playbook but it’s hilarious to see Godzilla be such a jerk.

GODZILLA-THON #6 - Invasion Of Astro-Monster (1965)

Toho kept the Big G on a roll by releasing another entry almost exactly a full year later, this time bringing back familiar elements that were popular in the last one. Namely, King Ghidorah, Rodan, and the use of an alien race for a plot device. That last feature would go on to become ubiquitous in the series, with nefarious alien races plotting our doom through various means right on up to Godzilla: Final Wars (2004). The core team of director Ishiro Honda, producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, and special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya remained together for this film before briefly disbanding, and then finally returning for the last big melee, Destroy All Monsters (1968). This entry, titled Invasion Of Astro-Monster (1965) in Japan and Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (1970) in America, is the last to display a sense of continuity from the previous entry, as the follow-up Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster completely ignores the events of this film. Though that's the least of its problems. But I digress.

A new planet has been discovered in our solar system - Planet X - and two astronauts (Nick Adams and Akira Takarada) have been sent on a cosmic journey to explore it. Before you have time to marvel at the efficiency of the Japanese government to execute such a mission with surgical precision in scant time, they land and are greeted by the people of Planet X, known as Xians. They, um, have a unique look, with visors that Levar Burton would envy, black skull caps, and what look like yoga mats wrapped around their necks. They certainly accomplished making them look fucking weird, I'll give 'em that. Anyway, these guys have to live underground because the surface is patrolled by Monster Zero (their name for King Ghidorah). What they propose is that we sign off on a Monster Loan, wherein they would drop into Earth, wake up Godzilla (Monster One) and Rodan (Monster Two), cart them up into space to their planet so they can fight off Ghidorah again, and then send them back before living in eternal bliss. Why Glenn and Fuji (our two astronauts) agreed is questionable since these guys look really sketchy. But I guess a slow space death was likely taken into consideration. Oh right, and the fact that they promise to give us the cure to cancer. The Xians arrive (or, should I say, rise from a nearby lake they hid in at some point), and two of their flying saucers play wakey-wakey-eggs-and-bakey with Godzilla and Rodan, scooping them up using an egg-thing made of energy. The trip to space is apparently quick for these guys, and in no time Godzilla and Rodan (who luckily don't need to worry about adapting to a foreign atmosphere in any way) kick the ever-loving shit out of Ghidorah. Godzilla is so proud of his work he even does a little dance.

 
 But you knew these Xian dudes were up to no good. Right after they send our astronauts back home, a crowd assembles so they can all listen to the miraculous cure for cancer we were promised. The tape is cued up, everyone is waiting with baited breath, someone hits plays, and... we get a message from the Xians that more or less says "Haha, fuck you, thanks for the free monsters. And by the way, we're coming back right now with all three of them to destroy your planet." Whoops. So, now Godzilla and Rodan, under the spell of a mind-control device, start wreaking havoc around town alongside a mean-as-usual King Ghidorah.

This is the part where the slightly cute but ultimately stupid subplot focusing on Fuji's sister and her bumbling, inventor would-be fiance, Tetsuo, comes into play. We're told the Xians are extremely sensitive to a certain sound, which is why the Xians bought Tetsuo's stupid device that is supposed to scare off attackers by emitting an ear-piercing sound. The device is used, Xians start to literally drop out of the sky, and the mind-control ray is shattered. Godzilla and Rodan snap back, realize what's going on, and promptly hand Ghidorah his golden space ass once again. Man, these guys would have made a killer WWF tag team.

Godzilla didn't get much of a major facelift this time around, with only minimal alteration made. This new suit, dubbed Daisensogoji, enlarged the eyes a little to give him a more friendly appearance, along with dorsal plates that were reduced in size ever so slightly. The guy's our hero, can't have him looking too unfriendly for the masses. Godzilla has a fairly consistent look over the course of these last three films, one that is continually reference as being among fans' favorite. We can thanks Eiji Tsuburaya once again, as it becomes obviously by the next film that when his presence isn't on the set, the quality immediately sees evident decline.

Akira Ifukube's score reprises many of the key themes he created for the series, with not much variance to give it a distinct feel specific to the film. That's not a knock in any way, however, since all of his music for the series has been inimitable. Oddly enough, he didn't even supply my favorite score for the series (which will be revealed when we get there), but those arrangements he produced are so iconic it's nearly impossible to think of Godzilla and not hear it.

The American version, titled Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (a better title, btw), was released in 1970 on a double bill with War of the Gargantuas. The film was only cut by three minutes, making it fairly faithful and respectful top the Japanese version. As usual, a lot of Ifukube's score was shuffled around or just replace outright. Oddly enough, some shots of Godzilla's foot stomping houses and huts were removed. Usually these versions want all the monster action they can get, sometimes even adding more in the case of Mothra vs. Godzilla, but here they trimmed it out. No matter, since the Classic Media DVD contains both cuts. And you know which one to watch.

After this, it goes downhill a bit when we get to King Ko... er, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (1966). Trust me, that gaff makes perfect sense when you know the story. 

GODZILLA-THON #4 - Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964)

No, unfortunately this film does not pit Godzilla against the malevolent shape-shifting alien beast that headlined John Carpenter's 1982 film. Rather, this was the first example of Toho digging through their monster roster and picking a worth opponent for Big G to rumble with in Japan. After the incredible success of pitting him against King Kong, Toho quickly went to work on penning a sequel. Intended to be given the lazy title of Continuation: King Kong vs. Godzilla, the project never made it past the early planning stages. Oddly enough, a super-sized version of Frankenstein's monster was once again submitted as a possible foe for Godzilla until Toho rejected that script (a script I'd love to read) and decided on Mothra, who had just headlined her own eponymous film in 1961. This is often considered to be one of the best films in the series period, as well as featuring one of the best Godzilla suits. I agree on both counts.

It's true, there is "nothing like [that] ever on the screen" because nothing in the movie has tentacles.

So, what's up with the vague, ambiguous title of Godzilla vs. The Thing? That title was only used for the American theatrical release, though, as all of the home video versions I can recall went by Godzilla vs. Mothra. To make it even more (slightly) confusing, the Japanese title is Mothra vs. Godzilla. I'm not exactly sure why Toho started putting their leading monster in the secondary title position. Godzilla doesn't even enjoy top billing until 1966's bout with Ebirah. I'm not complaining about this; it just seems a bit odd. But it could also be that the Japanese aren't as particular about this kind of thing like American film marketing. I've watched the Japanese version on Classic Media's outstanding DVD before, but having grown up on the English-dubbed version it's nearly impossible not to long for that version and that one only. The funny thing (no pun intended, really) is that I'd only ever seen it as Godzilla vs. Mothra, but this AIP print comes with the vs. The Thing title.

Amazingly, the American version hardly messes with the Japanese cut much. Usually, the American distributors will consider entire re-shoots around SPFX footage, or at the very least they'll trim the film down to the bare essentials to maximize monster time. Here, they not only leave the film almost totally intact, but they actually added a new scene of Godzilla being showered with missiles. The Frontier Missile sequence, featuring the American military taking control of the war against Godzilla, is full of great man-in-suit footage. Just as it sounds, it basically Godzilla stomping around while the military tries in vain to take him out. Of course, we know he ends up demolishing everything in his way because that's kinda his thing, but the fact that the U.S. got additional footage that the Japanese market didn't is pretty huge. This version was also released a scant 4 months after its Japanese debut, whereas all previous films had taken at least a year (or more) to be readied for stateside consumption.

The film's plotting doesn't deviate too far from the now-standard Godzilla formula. As per usual, G wakes up from hibernation - here he's buried underground and appears from beneath a quaking plot of land - and he just starts stomping Japan into the ground. Unlike in previous films, here he doesn't have any commute since his sleeping quarters were conveniently located in a coastal city. Just before Godzilla wakes, though, a giant egg had washed up on the beach. A massive egg capable of providing omelets for half the population. But this egg contains some special larva, the offspring of Mothra. You  know Mothra - giant moth, worshiped by native islanders and adored by two diminutive princesses who have a penchant for singing her praises constantly. My dad heard that song so many times when I was a kid that he can still sing it (albeit mockingly) to this day. Some businessmen try to buy the egg and set up an amusement park around it, completely ignoring the fact that it's an egg, which means it will either hatch something or rot away in the sun. Either way, not exactly a sound business model for generating revenue. It also doesn't help that one of the main dudes in charge looks like Hitler's long-lost Japanese brother.

With Godzilla on the move, and the fate of Mothra's egg in question, our fearless heroes/heroine - this time around it's a couple of journalists - call upon the tiny twins, known as Shobijin, to get Mothra to the mainland. Only problem is, Mothra has seen better days. She's an active senior looking forward to a few golden years before packing up her cocoon and jettisoning off the Moth Heaven. It's not meant to be, however, and soon Mothra is headed to Japan for a one-on-one showdown with Godzilla. And the Big G, being rightly pissed off for no apparent reason, promptly smacks her ass down. Oh noes! There goes any hope for saving Japan... unless a lot of tribal song and dance can get Mothra's egg to hatch! Of course, it does and out pop twins. I always liked Mothra's larva when I was younger. They seemed like such unlikely adversaries for Godzilla, but managed to hold their own impressively well considering they were literally just born and have virtually no defenses outside of tail biting and shooting silly string-like webbing from their mouths. 

A monster's humiliation, immortalized in plastic for all to see.

One area in which the film gets consistent props is for the suit design. This one, intended to be different from the Kingoji suit used against King Kong, was dubbed (appropriately enough) the Mosugoji. Godzilla's was given a less reptilian appearance, in addition to enjoying less bulk (battling a big ape must be a killer workout), a smaller snout, and an overall visage that is more menacing and "evil" versus the "big dinosaur" look he got last time around. Out of all the suits Godzilla films employed during the Showa era, I would have to agree that this one is among the best. Slight modifications were made for the next two subsequent films, after which Godzilla got some revamps that - quite honestly - made him look like a giant Sesame Street character. 

To end on a somewhat amusing anecdote, growing up in Southern California my father always used to point out the massive hangar which houses the Spruce Goose because it resembles Mothra's egg from far away. We lived about 50-ish miles from Long Beach, and on a clear day it looked just like that giant egg was sitting by the shore, waiting to hatch. All these years later I still think that every time I see it while driving. 

GODZILLA-THON #3 - King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

When we last saw our favorite grey-skinned (he's not green, people!) monster, he was en route to becoming a Godzilla popsicle after a lengthy, drawn-out mountainous bombing covered him in ice, which is where he remained for 7 years until Toho decided to revive him for a match against the ultra popular American monster, King Kong. Oddly enough, the Big G wasn't Kong's originally intended adversary. It was going to be... Frankenstein's monster? Yep. The film started out as an idea by stop-motion pioneer Willis O'Brien - the man responsible for bringing Kong to life in his 1933 debut - who wanted to pit Kong against a giant-sized Frankenstein's monster. RKO, the company that owned the character, was all for it... except for the fact that they were no longer a production company. So, one of O'Brien's business buddies decided to do him a solid and shop it overseas, eventually earning the interest of Toho who saw it as a potential vehicle for Godzilla. Unfortunately for O'Brien, his "buddy" cut him out of the deal and took the project to Japan on his own. Although he gets no credit, the only reason this film exists is because of his original concept.

This was one of my favorite movies as a kid, no question. Pitting my two most favorite monsters against each other was genius to my 6-year-old brain. Who cares if the scale on Kong is ridiculously off. He's what, 25, maybe 30 feet tall max? And here he's sprouted to over 100 feet because... he eats red berries on Farrow Island? Yep. There are red berries - which look an awful lot like lychee fruit dyed red - on a remote island in the South Pacific. Kong eats these berries, the juice has made him huge. There is also a large octopus on the island, almost as big as Kong, and it too enjoys drinking the juice from these berries. There are natives on this island as well. They eat these berries. They are normal-sized humans. The things you don't think about when you're young, right? I guess the berry juice magic only works on animals.

With few exceptions, Godzilla films have never been known for their intricate plotting or strong scripts. This isn't an exception to that rule, but the conceit behind getting these two together works pretty damn well. Godzilla, fresh from his cryo-slumber in an ice casket, is awake and rightfully pissed off. And what does G do when he's mad? Yep, time to smash the crap out of Japan. Japan, understandably, does not want this. They figure the best way to combat a big beast is with an equally large beast, so they ship Kong's furry ass over to Japan in order to have him fight Godzilla. The method by which they get the two together is wholly improbable - giant balloons would not lift a 3000-ton ape. Laughable as it is, he sure knows how to make an entrance.

That's the thing here, too - this is the first Godzilla film aimed towards a broader audience. Special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya wanted to make both monsters more family friendly. Don't forget, Godzilla - and to a lesser degree, Kong - was still considered a villain in 1962. By making both monsters slightly more anthropomorphic they seemed less scary to small children. That's why they do things like playing hot potato with a massive boulder. The Godzilla suit was once again redesigned, this time with no ears, three toes on each foot instead of four, and his dorsal fins were enlarged. Many fans consider this to be one of the best suits the series has seen, a distinction I tend to agree with. He looks like more like a dinosaur, and I was a dino-obsessed kid. The Kong suit is, uh... well, frankly, it looks like shit. Half the time. The suit used for longer shots has a more furrowed brow and recessed eyes, giving it a more "hardened" look. The close-up suit just flat out blows. His teeth look like they're all about to exit his mouth in different directions, the eyes are bugged out making him look like a pug/ape hybrid; it's just a terrible design through and through, which is surprising given that Tsuburaya was such a major fan of Kong's 1933 debut. I'll admit that there is a little bit of charm to the guy ape's mug, however, he is unquestionably the ugliest Kong ever committed to film. Yes, even uglier than female Kong and her big third-world ape titties in King Kong Lives.

"Break these chains... of love!"

As with almost every Godzilla film up to this point, King Kong vs. Godzilla had an American version that cut out many scenes and changed some of the film sequences around. They inserted the character of Eric Carter (played by a good looking son of a bitch named Michael Keith), a U.N. reporter who would call on his colleagues around the world to get updates on Godzilla and Kong's respective paths of destruction. Having seen both versions of the film, I've gotta say that I love the U.S. version. And, yes, that would still be the case if I could get these damn rose-tinted glasses off. For one thing, the concept of using a world reporter at the U.N. gives the film a more global, epic feel. I also have a hard-on for vintage '60s Americana news reports and space exploration videos. All of the footage shot with Carter feels like you're watching an old forgotten broadcast. Much of Akira Ifukube's score was replaced by stock library cues that had been used in older films, this was in an effort to give the music a more "Westernized" feel.

The film does have quite a few distinctions to its name. It was the first time that either Godzilla or King Kong were shot widescreen (the film was done in scope 2.35:1 ratio) and in color. Additionally, the film remains the most-attended Godzilla film of all-time, with over 12 million admissions in Japan. My first experience watching it came from the old Goodtimes VHS, a tape that I still own because I think it's important to retain some Luddite qualities so you can appreciate what once was every now and then. 

Despite the constantly-told apocryphal tale, there are NOT two endings for the film. A popular rumor started by Spacemen magazine in the '60s claimed that if you saw the film in Japan, Godzilla would win; but viewing it in American would yield a victory for Kong. Not so. In both versions Kong is the winner, although, really, it's pretty ambiguous. It's a satisfying ending for fans of both monsters because neither can claim true victory - they both end the film alive and slightly bruised. King Kong was much more popular internationally than Godzilla at this time, so it was always intended for him to win the bout. This film did get Toho to thinking that pitting there was something to this pitting-Godzilla-against-monsters thing, which ultimately led to the series continuing on as he faced a roster of current and new Toho creations.

GODZILLA-THON #2 - Godzilla Raids Again (1955)

Godzilla's second foray into theaters occurred immediately following his debut. Toho, eager as any Western Hollywood studio, wanted to capitalize on the success of Godzilla's popularity, so this sequel went into production for release in 1955. That might sound ambitious for the '50s - long before the '80s heyday of popping out horror sequels quicker than a child gestates - but then I'd be quick to point out that RKO shot and released Son of Kong in the same year (1933) that the original came out! And they had to do stop-motion animation, too! So, getting Haruo Nakajima to hop inside their rubber suit once again and stomp miniatures wasn't such an impossible task. But, this being a sequel and all, the stakes had to be raised. Unfortunately, director Inoshiro Honda declined to return - can't blame the guy for wanting to go out on a high note - and composer Akira Ifukube also was unavailable. In their place, director Motoyoshi Oda (who was up to that point mainly known for a Japanese film influenced by The Invisible Man called Tomei Ningen) took over the reigns, while score composition was handled by then-new composer Masaru Satoh. This was actually the first score he ever recorded for a film. He would later gain recognition for his work with Akira Kurosawa.

Enter Anguirus. Or Angillas. Or Anguilas. Of all the monsters in Toho's roster, Anguirus seems to have the most "AKA"s. Toho says Anguirus, so that's what I call him. This spiky Ankylosaurus-looking beast was introduced initially as Godzilla's foe, though later films would see him often aligning with Godzilla, creating one of the most badass tag teams since Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior decided to join forces.

The film doesn't offer a whole lot in the way of plot, or even characters we feel much for. Certainly not after Gojira offered up a top-notch cast of memorable characters - Serizawa has a friggin' eye patch, who doesn't remember that? The only returning cast member, other than Haruo Nakajima as Godzilla, is Takashi Shimura returning as Prof. Yamane. He's not here to do much more than remind people how much Godzilla fucked up Japan before, and that this is likely the first Godzilla's relative who is now awake and pissed off. Only this time, instead of smashing the crap out of fishing villages and eating virgin sacrifices he's focused on battling Anguirus. Which, I suppose, still means that half of Japan is gonna get annihilated. The two of them do more or less use the harbors of Japan as makeshift wrestling mats. 

As for the human element, it's far less engaging this time around. We spend most of the film with two pilots who are tasked with hunting for schools of fish from the air. They first spot Godzilla and Anguirus already embroiled in a heated battle on some remote island before the monsters both fail to notice the impending cliff and into the drink they go. One of the pilots recognized Godzilla, though, so finally the Japanese can make preparations to ward off the beast. 

Oh, man, they do such a good job, too. Although he was ignored in the first film, the army listens to Prof. Yamane this time and prepare a series of flares designed to lure G away from the coastal cities. After all, like a large, scaly moth the Big Guy is drawn to lights, so a few well-placed flares and he'll be out of here in no t-

Fuck. A group of convicts just engineered the easiest prison truck escape ever, hijacked a gasoline truck (the most logical of vehicles to employ during a high speed chase), and lost complete control of it, slamming into a refinery that just happens to be right by the coast. 

Aaaaaaannnnnddddd now Godzilla is coming back to obliterate everything. So is Anguirus, who apparently can't resist the urge to add some theatricality to his rematch by fighting next to the massive fire. Bad move. Doesn't he know Godzilla breathes fire? He finds out, but only after Godzilla bites through his neck and kicks his dying ass into a drainage ditch. Then Anguirus gets blasted with the famous atomic breath, effectively burning him to death. Don't feel too bad, he gets to make up for losing later in the series by appearing in several pictures.

"C'mon, just one hug..."

The Godzilla suit underwent some minor cosmetic changes for this entry. As everyone should already know, the suit quite literally has been altered in one way or another for every single film in the series. This time around Godzilla has a more dinosaur-like head and his ears seem a bit more pronounced. This is the closest the suit has ever looked to the original, as the next film - King Kong vs. Godzilla - saw a major makeover for the Big Guy. Once again, Haruo Nakajima donned the rubber casket, though modifications had been made to ensure a modicum of comfort over the previous design.  

So, how do they off Godzilla this time? You can't kill him again - not because they couldn't write a way to kill him, but think about the sequel potential! They had to just put him on ice, literally. Our two ace pilots - Tsukioka and Kobayashi - spend almost 15 minutes bombing him on an icy island with the intent of covering him with enough ice so that he can't escape. This is not taking into consideration the fact that he's a massive, powerful lizard that can likely just stomp his way out. And, you know, he does breathe fire! But, sure, whatever. Gotta wrap the film up somehow, right? Anyway, these two guys drop more bombs than a WWII fighter pilot before this terrible ice plan finally works, rendering our titular monster a kaiju-sicle.

"I'll, uh, just be polite and stand here while you guys do your thing."

And that's how he stayed for 7 long years, until another monster King by the name of Kong came knocking at his door.

One quick note on the American version of Godzilla Raids Again... The original intention was for an American distributor, AB-PT productions, to film completely new footage around all of the existing monster scenes. This new film, to be titled The Volcano Monsters, would have shrunk the scale of Godzilla and Anguirus to dinosaur size. Additionally, Godzilla was not going to be shown breathing fire, and Toho even sent over monster suits for the production. Thankfully, the production company went out of business the following year, effectively cancelling the entire production. As bad as it sounds, some part of me is morbidly curious to know how this project would have looked fully realized. The film still got messed with to hilarious results, though. The American version re-christened Godzilla as Gigantis - giving the film its name, Gigantis, the Fire Monster - and he was even given Anguirus' roar! Apparently the distributors were stupid enough to think audiences wouldn't notice Godzilla being passed off as an entirely new monster. The only silver lining to this version - and it's minor - is George Takei, he of Star Trek fame, provided dubbing for one of the actors. 

"Watch out, it's Godzilla... and he looks fabulous!"

GODZILLA-THON #1 - Gojira (1954)

Godzilla fever has been running high thanks to Gareth Edwards' upcoming 2014 reboot invading Comic Con this weekend, so it seemed like as good a time as any to re-watch all of Toho's 28 entries in the historic franchise.

For a bit of backstory, I'm essentially the definition of a dyed-in-the-wool Godzilla fan. As far back as I can remember, I've been fascinated with big monster movies, or daikaiju for the initiated. I've got the worn-out VHS tapes to prove it. I would curate my own movie marathons, piling up my store bought (and bootlegged) Big G tapes to ready myself for an entire day of nerding the fuck out. All at the age of 6. Few things made me happier than watching man-in-suit movies until my eyelids gave out and I was carried off to bed. I owned every single film Toho had released up to that point - this would've been around 1987/88 - which explains why my favorite G films come from the earlier Showa era of the series. In fact, aside from Godzilla 1985 I didn't see any Heisei era films until the mid-to-late '90s. This is partly due to Toho doing a shitty job of giving them proper VHS released in America... and partly due to my entering high school and maintaining a social life.

But I digress. The point I'm getting at here is that despite all of my constant Godzilla-thons, I never watched the original film much. I watched it plenty to know it well enough. The black & white presentation never bothered me as a kid. I gravitated towards the more monster-heavy entries in the series, like 1974's Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Plus, let's face it - Toho might've done a commendable job on the suit itself but that puppet used for close-up shots hardly looked menacing. And this was also the American-edited 1956 version, called Godzilla, King of the Monsters, which eschewed virtually all of the somber mood and nuclear subtext of the Japanese version in order to give Perry Mason, er, Raymond Burr screen time as our man on the ground, journalist Steve Martin. Clearly, this was before the time of the Steve Martin, but the name confusion did turn up when the character was reprised for Godzilla 1985. There, they just called him "Steve" or "Mr. Martin", never a combination of the two. It isn't a bad film - especially to the non-critical mind of a kid - but since the original version was lovingly restored around 2004 people seem to deride it more than usual.

Back to the marathon. Criterion put out a sexy new edition of Gojira (1954) on Blu-ray. This edition fully blows the Classic Media Blu-ray release out of the water, with an improved picture (CM's release was 1080i), better audio, and a minor wealth of bonus material. Now, it should be noted that they didn't license any of the features found on the 2-disc DVD Classic Media released, so fans who own that edition would be wise to hang on to it. But if all you're concerned with is the a/v presentation, look no further than Criterion.

The film itself is clearly superior to the heavily-edited American version. As I stated earlier, the tone is much more serious and somber. Godzilla is an obvious allegory for the undersea nuclear testing being done around that time (and even more obviously, the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki). He is presented as a force of nature, an unstoppable beast who only leaves the sea when his food source has been depleted due to deep-sea explosions. As gripping as the monster footage is, the story is compelling and humanistic. Professor Yamane (Takashi Shimura) desperately wants to study the beast, hoping that through science we can learn how Godzilla is impervious to atomic testing and conventional weaponry. But the military just wants to kill it, a task they continually fail at completing. They have to enlist the aid of Dr. Serizawa (Akihiko Hirata), a scientist who has developed a device - the Oxygen Destroyer - that can essentially liquefy oxygen, killing whatever is in its wake. He's reluctant to offer his aid, however, since he knows that as soon as his experiment is revealed men will want to harbor it for nefarious purposes. The pathos bleeds off the screen, elevating what could have easily been a simple monster-runs-amok film into something emotional and poignant.

"Chicks dig the patch, right?"

Much - if not all - of the film's success is thanks to the triumvirate of technical innovation: director Inoshiro Honda, producer Tomoyuki Tanaka, and special effects supervisor Eiji Tsuburaya. Without delving too deeply into history that can be found elsewhere, it was Tanaka's idea to film the movie. The script went through many changes, as did the final design for Godzilla, which at one point was to be a monster with a mushroom cloud-shaped head (!). Finally, on their third attempt to create a useable sculpture, did Tsuburaya & Tanaka settle on the now-classic look. They still needed to put a man in that 200-lb. rubber suit, though. Enter Haruo Nakajima, who wore the bulky behemoth under stage lights with temperatures inside reaching 130 degrees Fahrenheit. He reportedly had a cup of sweat drained from the suit daily. The stiff rubber forced a more reptilian - and, thus, less human - style of movement because Nakajima was so restricted. Rumor has it the suit could stand on its own once he was out! Sounds like grueling work, but he took it all in stride without complaining. Nakajima did almost all of the suit work during the Showa era.

"Godzilla - did the Oxygen Destroyer really kill him... or was it cancer?"

It's been said that a good score can dramatically help any movie, and the impressive orchestration of Akira Ifukube certainly does just that. This is the man who composed a large majority of Godzilla's most memorable themes. This score reciprocates the somber tone meant for the film, making it unique among his work on other Godzilla films since the mood never reached the emotional depths of this first picture. Ifukube would go on to score for Godzilla the rest of his career, finally stepping down after handling duties on Godzilla vs. Destroyer in 1995. Let's not forget he also gave the Big G his trademark roar, something achieved by rubbing a resin-coated glove over a contrabass string. Simple, effective, incredibly memorable.  

I liken this inaugural Godzilla film to Rocky (1976) - hang on a sec, lemme finish - in that this was the launch pad used to gauge reaction and then plot ahead. Everyone seems to forget that Rocky loses in the first film, much like the Big G loses (even worse, really... he dies) here. But as Prof. Yamane said in the film, perhaps there are more of Godzilla's species out there, waiting to be woken up from continued testing.

Lucky for us, he was right.